For the Thanksgiving holiday, I am thankful for witty political satire such as this fine piece. It’s both hilarious and prophetic, because a “Republican apocalypse” really is about to strike America. Might as well laugh while we still can.
Now that the Republican Apocalypse is upon us in America, we here at The Arm Chair Pontificatorhave put together a list for our readers on how to best survive it. Remember, everything you read here is absolutely true. Not a single thing has been changed to protect the innocence of anyone
1.) If confronted by a Republican and you’re armed, shot it in the wallet. The best way to weaken a Republican is to wipe out its immediate access to money.
2.) Once you’ve shot its wallet, simply punch the Republican in the nose, then watch it run away crying. Without their money, Republicans are the biggest pussies you’ll ever meet.
3.) If you are not armed, and a Republican approaches you, simply tell it you are a TruChristian and want to receive a copy of the Bible from it to improve your gay-hating skills. When…
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